Very few people make it through life unscathed by trauma. In fact, I would argue that every single human has experienced it, even if minor. Others have dealt with massive or repetitive trauma.
In general, a traumatic event causes severe emotional distress. Trauma may overwhelm the individual’s capacity to cope or process what occurred, and the impact is tragically often lasting. Responses may include fear, helplessness, confusion, numbness, rage, shame, or depression.
The brain may not be able to “file away” or correctly store what happened, which is what allows us to move forward and function emotionally and psychologically. Some people respond to this by dissociating, where they have blocked out or disconnected from their feelings or surroundings.
A more extreme version of this is called dissociative amnesia, where they have forgotten what happened. Memory loss related to trauma is more common than you might think. Both of these are defence mechanisms or coping tools of the mind, body, and spirit. The traumatizing experience does not go away, however, but is repressed or dissociated out of necessity.
Before we get into coping skills that can help you stop dissociating, we’ll talk more about what it means.
Dissociation, like most things, exists on a scale. It can be minor, moderate, or extreme. Overall, it means a person may feel separated or disconnected from thoughts, feelings, memories, sense of identity, and/or surroundings. As I’ve mentioned, it is a protective defense mechanism to shield from overwhelming emotions or experiences.
An example of mild dissociation that most of us can relate to is zoning out while driving or walking. Daydreaming, not being present, or going somewhere else mentally is quite common. It may or may not be a trauma response, but it often is.
When it becomes chronic or more intense, it can lead to further dissociative symptoms or dissociative disorders. An extreme version is dissociative identity disorder, also called multiple personality disorder. This diagnosis occurs when someone develops more than one main personality or identity. Each may have a unique name, characteristics, or memories. Another serious manifestation of dissociation is depersonalization derealization disorder. In this case, the person feels extreme detachment from self or surroundings, like they are watching themselves in a movie.
Dissociation is most often caused by trauma or abuse, especially when long lasting or when it occurred in childhood. It may also happen after stressful periods or shocking news.
Some people understand that trauma residue or dissociation is what they are experiencing, while many others haven’t yet connected the dots. For more about how to release trauma from the body, read this blog here.
Here are some initial coping strategies for dissociation. Finding what works for you over time may take some trial and error.
One of the simplest somatic practices is to use an ice cube or cold water (like a shower, plunge, or splash on your face) to help your body jolt back into the present moment. When we dissociate, we leave our body in a metaphorical or emotional sense (this very often happens first during the actual trauma).
Grounding techniques also work well. Sit, stand, or lie down in some grass if possible. Or do a meditation or visualization where you imagine a root going down from your core into the center of the earth. Take some deep breaths. Deep breathing helps the body and mind calm down and return to the here and now. You are engaging the parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for “rest and digest”). Even walking, especially in nature, is wonderful, and good for trauma release.
CBT helps you start to notice and replace your negative or fear-based thoughts and perceptions. One devastating side effect of trauma can be the way it warps the ability to expect good things or assign positive intent to other people’s actions. Working on your cognitions is usually very worthwhile. And it can help you come back into your body bit by bit, as you gradually change the way you perceive things.
Meeting with a trauma informed professional can be profound. It almost always helps when it feels safe. The therapist can properly guide you through any overwhelming feelings or memories, and ultimately suggest the best coping tools for your specific situation. If you have a trusted person in your life you feel comfortable with, you can lean on your own support system too.
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