Copywriter, Mental Health Blogger, Grief Specialist
Are you an extrovert who struggles with social anxiety? Or perhaps you’re an introvert with anxiety and curious if others experience similar things. My audience tends to be empathic people who are sensitive, but literally anyone can have anxiety! It’s a myth that only introverts are anxious or that extroverted people are always confident or at ease.
The term extrovert refers to people who are outgoing or have expressive personalities. One differentiator I find helpful is to ask: do I/this person gain energy and recover by being alone and quiet, or by being social and engaging interpersonally? As with most personality traits, introvert and extrovert tendencies are a scale. Many of us fall somewhere in the middle. While extroverts love to be surrounded by people, it’s not uncommon for them to be shy as well. And no one is immune to insecurity, negative thoughts, or nervous system activation. Social anxiety can affect all sorts of individuals.
Read on to learn more about whether or not extroverts can develop social anxiety. I will also cover what it is, what causes it, what it looks like, and how to overcome it. This is informative not only for the socially anxious extrovert, but for the introvert and everyone in between. Additionally, understanding these concepts will allow you to better support those you care about regardless of personality type.
The answer is yes! Just because you or someone else enjoys frequent socializing, does not mean you can’t have anxiety. Appearances are often deceiving. Social media in particular shows us this time and time again. The glossy images and carefully curated personas of many influencers can be a facade. While not everyone is a grifter or fraud (but more than I wish, are), on a smaller scale it can hide the full truth. The truth of life and being human is often messy and anxious.
The main distinction is that extroverts experience slightly different symptoms of social anxiety than introverts. Or they may be more adept at covering it up and embracing social situations with gusto. Anxious introverts may prefer avoiding social gatherings because they have a more overt fear of being judged.
Now let’s get into what exactly social anxiety is so you can understand how extroverts experience it. Then you will be equipped to overcome anxiety and feel more confident.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety disorder (formerly called social phobia) is defined as persistent fear of one or more social situations or performance type situations. The situations may involve being exposed to new, unfamiliar people or scrutiny.
Symptoms of social anxiety include fear or preoccupation around:
As with other mental health conditions, managing social anxiety can be challenging. Social situations are everywhere, from home to work to school to dating to travel to sports to music, and more. If you often feel judged, or worry about being judged, you may relate to social anxiety.
There are a variety of possible causes and triggers for social anxiety in extroverts. Here are a few:
There are some telltale signs of an extrovert with social anxiety.
As I touched on above, loving people can actually create anxiety. If social dynamics become too much of a focus, or the person finds themselves analyzing every interaction, anxiety happens. Negative thoughts may spiral. People pleasing, where the extrovert is worried about if everyone is having a good time or what their needs are, can result.
Overthinking often feels frenetic, anxious, and may be associated with physical symptoms like racing heart or trouble sleeping.
Extroverted people usually don’t want to miss anything, especially if it’s a social gathering. Being preoccupied with attending everything and avoiding FOMO (fear of missing out) can get tiring.
If there’s someone you always see at events, or who is always organizing or micromanaging them, to a level that seems extreme, they might be struggling with social anxiety as an extrovert. As counterintuitive as it might seem, both can exist at the same time.
All that saying yes can take a toll, even on extroverts. If there’s a compulsion to socialize, or even just a frequent need for it, overwhelm can occur. Extroverts may get so excited that they don’t realize until later that they are exhausted, anxious, or burned out. They can start to regret their choices or social behaviors.
There aren’t currently specific data on this, but rest assured that social anxiety in extroverts is quite common. You are not alone! Extroversion is a personality type or inclination, but that doesn’t mean it can’t exist alongside anxiety.
There are many tools for addressing social anxiety as an extrovert (or introvert). Here are the three best ways to get started.
Cognitive behavioral work means noticing your thoughts and starting to correct them in the positive direction. Anxiety of all kinds, and especially social anxiety, usually involves negative thinking, negative self-perception, and/or worries about a worst case scenario. So beginning to not buy into these fears, and replacing them with more hopeful or realistic perceptions, is powerful. It may take some time and practice to get the hang of questioning your cognitions, but it’s well worth it.
Breathwork is one of the best ways to reverse anxiety, and can even work for panic attacks at times. Taking some deep breaths engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which relaxes our body and mind. There are many types of breathwork that you can try, but the main point is to inhale slowly while your belly puffs out, and then exhale for slightly longer. Box breathing is also popular. Do a session for at least 5 minutes and see how you feel.
Sometimes we need outside support to get anxiety under control, and there is no shame in that. In person therapy is great too, but nowadays it’s easier than ever to get help online. Research your options both locally and online, and consider asking a friend or family member for a referral.
Remember that having social anxiety, or any type of anxiety, is treatable. Nothing is wrong with you, and you can overcome it. I hope the extroverts and social butterflies have felt validated and gained something from this blog. And for those of you who are more introverted or find yourself absorbing other people’s energy through interactions, check out this blog next.
© Copyright Centered One by Erin, LLC. All rights reserved.
Photos by
