If you’re reading this, you are likely a fellow empath, highly sensitive person, introvert, or giver. The first thing these groups of human beings often ask me is: Why on earth do I absorb other people’s energy?
Well, you are in luck. The answer awaits you! Continue reading to understand why you take on other people’s emotions or energy, and some life strategies aka what to do about it. Before we dive in, I suggest taking a deep breath as the very first step. This is one of the best ways to clear negative energy, calm your entire body, and reconnect to your own emotions — especially after an emotional experience or interaction with an energy vampire. Another handy form of protection is to imagine an envelope of white light around you. Even if this has a placebo effect, it works nonetheless!
There are a whole host of possible reasons you are absorbing others’ emotions or energy. Let’s go through 5 of the most likely culprits, and how to deal with them. You can address these and feel better, even amidst a hard time or negative emotions.
It is possible to have the beautiful compassion that you do, while at the same time not letting energy absorption from others make your daily life debilitating.
This first reason you may be absorbing other people’s energy is perhaps the most unexpected. It is that you are stuck in the cycle of healing. In the worlds of self-help and spirituality, this can become a hamster wheel where you’re always moving or striving, but never going anywhere. Or, you make strides and feel better but can’t seem to step away from the neverending spiral of “fixing.” I’ve seen this firsthand in my own life as well as in clients and colleagues over the years.
If you’re always looking at or for perceived deficits, you are not actually improving yourself! And, this perception makes you vulnerable to other people’s energy. Not only because the pervasive belief of “everything is energy” can start to play tricks on you, but because many coaches and healers prey on or fabricate these ideas (intentionally or unintentionally). Do your best to disconnect from these ideologies. Or, carve out some alone time to explore your own needs. Take a break from all of it, and the feelings of others. Then, reevaluate.
Let’s take a completely different perspective for a minute and look at this from a neuroscience lens. Mirror neurons refer to a type of brain cell that fires, or activates, when we take a certain action (like reaching for something) and also when we watch another person do that action or show that body language. In essence, these neurons mirror the actions of others. For this reason, research suggests mirror neurons are related to our experience of empathy and awareness of others.
And, as you can imagine, mirror neurons are thought to be even more active than normal in highly sensitive people. Being more affected by other people’s moods, emotions, and energy is simply part of the highly sensitive brain. This is also why social anxiety tends to be more common in empaths. Brains of HSPs are unique in that way, and the prefrontal cortex may also be involved. Research is ongoing in these fascinating areas.
Boundaries is an overused term right now, but nevertheless an essential one. Boundaries refer to emotional and physical limits or standards. Many of us never learned about boundaries or how to set them growing up. Your feelings, needs, and perspectives are yours, just like someone else’s are theirs.
Creating healthy boundaries in your life can mean the difference between health and disease, well-being and chaos. It also means the difference between taking on and being weighed down by other people’s energy, problems, and moods, and having control over your own well-being. Start by saying no without guilt. It is not your responsibility to do things you don’t want to do, or caretake other adults. If you feel like it is, read my recent blog on codependency. You may also wish to research anxious attachment style, which can be more likely for an empathic person.
You likely already know what an empath is, and if you are one. If not, it refers to a percentage of the population (estimated between 1 and 20 percent) who are emotional sponges and particularly sensitive. Empaths have extra attuned intuition, emotions, energy fields, and physical bodies. They become drained or overwhelmed after social interactions and can sometimes sense the emotions of others as well as unseen energies. The sensitivity can extend to physical sensations as well sometimes. A physical empath may literally feel people’s pain, including biological and emotional states.
Part of the reality of being empathic is absorbing or sensing other people’s energy. For more detailed guidance and an empath’s survival guide of sorts, read this blog. For now, a very helpful tool is to ask yourself often: Is what I’m feeling mine? You may be surprised that the answer is no!
One of the most important practices for sensitive people is time to discharge or release. This means carving out some time every now and then (or, preferably, often) to be alone. You take on a lot of energy, emotions, and “stuff” when you are interacting with others. This includes remote interactions, such as texting, social media, and calls.
Being alone is particularly helpful to clear all of that out. Sleeping and napping are also great. These habits bring much-needed relief and allow your system to rest and reset. Share with a close friend, family member, or loved one that self-care time helps your mental health and allows for a better relationship too. You may also want to set a time limit on social situations and social media to avoid overload from the energy of others and the emotions of people. And, taking a quiet walk afterward is a beautiful thing.
Being sensitive and feeling intensely is a special gift. As you know, however, it can at times feel like a curse. Learning proper management and healthy limits is key to being empowered as a kind soul or empath. Follow these 5 suggestions to stop absorbing other people’s energy. Doing so will improve how you feel and operate in the world.
I also always recommend an inventory of all aspects of your life. Map out and take notes on who and what drains you, and who and what energizes you. Then make changes accordingly. If you would like help navigating your personal journey, feel free to contact me at erin@centeredone.com.
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