In some ways, being sensitive is truly a gift. The world needs more empathy and respect all around, especially right now in our divided state. I am a highly sensitive person myself and tend to work with and write for this audience, thought to be about 20 percent of the population. It is often an intense journey of learning and unlearning – including how to forgive self and others and have healthy boundaries. For guidance on how to protect your energy and honor it as a sensitive person, read this blog here. I always encourage empathic people and givers to love themselves first.
However, too much of a good thing can have consequences. It can negatively affect your mental health if you are overly sensitive. Your caring heart and generous nature are beautiful, and this fact does not nullify that. But life can be harsh, and there is value in knowing how to turn down the sensitivity a notch. Read on for a guide on how to be less sensitive.
Before we get into specific tips, we’ll address what highly sensitive people actually experience. That is the foundation for understanding how to decrease emotional sensitivity even just a little bit. You can maintain your emotional intelligence while also managing your emotional responses.
Highly sensitive person or “empath” refers to a small percentage of the population (estimated between 1 and 20 percent) who feel a whole heck of a lot more than the average person. They have attuned or intense emotions, intuition, energy fields, and/or physical bodies. They become drained or overwhelmed easily and can sometimes sense the emotions of others as well as unseen energies.
The trait of high sensitivity can be both a blessing and a curse. This ability to offer love and acceptance, often unconditionally, is unmatched. Knowing a sensitive person offers unique gifts, more of which I explain here.
At the same time, the reality is that the world has negative people and situations, judgment, and trauma. Living as a sensitive person can be shocking in part due to the discovery that most other people don’t share this level of empathy. Thus, adjusting and turning down the sensitivity becomes not just useful but a necessity at times. It can mean the difference between feeling good and feeling debilitated.
As a side note, I’m all for self-love and self-acceptance as I touched on above. That’s been the majority of my own work, and with clients. But this other side of the coin deserves attention as well.
Here are some potential causes of high sensitivity:
As I mentioned, sensitivity isn’t all bad by any means. There are always positives and negatives with traits like these. But for our purposes, we are focusing on how high sensitivity can be problematic or challenging. Here are the two main reasons from my perspective, then we’ll cover how to be less sensitive.
It’s no fun to constantly be triggered. And there are opportunities at literally every turn. If you’re sensitive, you may pick up on emotions, nuances, conflicts, traumas, or energies. Feeling all of that usually leads to reactions, whether you like it or not, whether subtle or dramatic. Anxiety in empaths is often the buildup of others’ “stuff.”
Emotional triggers occur when something happening in the present reminds us or unconsciously brings up something from the past (usually of the traumatic or upsetting variety).
As a sensitive person, you may have a hyperfocus on other people and the dynamics playing out. Because you sense so much, you might assume others do too, and therefore that their actions, words, or lack thereof are in fact about you. Not so!
This is perhaps the biggest lesson for empaths: other people often don’t notice, care, or think the way you do. That may sound awful, but there is a plus side. You can let go of analyzing so much. If you’re worried about something, you can almost guarantee the other people in question are not as preoccupied. And this is a permission slip to let it go – or at least let go of some of the distress. Let yourself and others off the hook. For more information if you’re asking a question like “am I too sensitive or are they mean?”, read this blog here.
Here are 4 ways you can start to overcome sensitivity that is adversely affecting your life. Take the positive aspects and leave the rest, when possible. Your sensitivity is probably an innate trait to some extent, so be compassionate to yourself in this process of inventory. Managing your sensitivity is indeed possible.
Most of what other people do is not about you. That’s the truth. We of course tend to personalize everything. Practice de-personalizing, and stop jumping to conclusions. Avoiding social situations may not feel as necessary as you integrate this.
Part of the challenge with high sensitivity is the somatic, or body-based, reaction. Calming your system down physically through breathwork can be greatly helpful. Breathing and practicing mindfulness may help you control your emotions or emotional responses and teach you emotional regulation.
One effective psychological tool is cognitive reframing, or learning to witness your own thoughts and feelings. Eventually, you can start to challenge negative thoughts or replace them with more productive or positive ideas. This should help you be in the present moment more easily and not feel the need to avoid situations.
This step is about noticing or allowing your feelings of sensitivity, and still acting. Feel the fear and do it anyway is a saying for good reason. You can let your sensations, intuitions, or even triggering be there, and yet set it aside. Be compassionate toward yourself while also reminding yourself that sensitivity does not need to dictate your life or actions.
The holy grail of being sensitive is finding a balance between accepting yourself, while also navigating the world with courage. I hope you’ve gained something from this blog on how to begin to do so. You got this!
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